Caveat: This isn’t particularly the informative post that I originally thought it would be. To be honest, after re-reading it, it’s little more than a glorified whine session. However, clearly it was something I needed to get off my chest, so there you have it. If you aren’t in the mood for some QQ, move on and come back tomorrow for something useful. If you feel like a good rant…or playing Dr. Phil, please read on! 😉
I did something this past weekend that I’ve not done since Ulduar released back in April. I took the weekend off from raiding any 10 mans. I had several people ask me to come in and help and I said “no”. No, I don’t want to take my alt to heal. No, I don’t want to take my main and heal. No, I don’t want to bring in a DPS class to help out. No, I don’t want to lead a raid you are fully capable of leading.
Instead I spent some time doing other things. Things like Houswork (I never thought I’d say housework was more enjoyable than WoW, but it was). I finally got around to unpacking all of my books from when I moved 4 months ago (just a few more boxes left!). I hung some pictures that never got hung after the move. I finally got my stereo set up. My aparment almost looks as if it’s actually occupied by people trying to make it a home. I cooked all of our meals over the weekend. I made some truly delicious shrimp. I tried my hand at grilling corn on the cob (it was also very yummy!). I grilled filets. I made apple dumplings and one of my childhood favorites, Monkey Bread!
And I realized how much I missed doing these things. I like to cook. I like to bake. I like to veg out in front of the TV and watch horrible programming (E! True Hollywood Story, I’m talking about you!). I like being able to play and then walk away from my computer for any reason at any time with no consequences, other than perhaps running back to my dead corpse.
We are just a few hours away from our rusted protodrakes, with a solid group. We have seen Mimiron at ~10%, with a limited amount of time and effort spent on him. But I just can’t get myself motovated to go back in and finish what we need to get done. I want to, I really do. But I am on the verge of serious burn out, and I am desperately clinging to the edge of the cliff, hoping that I have the strength to pull myself back to safety before my holds gives way and I plummet endlessly down.
I have stated before that I was not ready for new content yet. I haven’t had time to breathe. I haven’t had the “down” time that we had before Ulduar hit. Mercifully the new content has been fairly easy and has taken a minimal amount of time to prepare for, and even less time to master. However, I fear that is going to change with hard modes. We will continue raiding our 25 man 4 nights a week. And then doing the 10 man of the new content…and of Ulduar. Oh…and did I mention the current, constant recruiting? (I’ve a post planned for that later). Let’s not forget the stress that is associated with trying to plan raids and continue to perform succesfully.
I seriously need some down time.
Something, somewhere, has got to give in my schedule. And I fear it’s going to have to be my willingness to run 10 man content. I need my off nights back. I desperately need to have some normalcy outside of WoW. I need some semblence of an unplugged life. I’ve been plugged in for 4 months straight and I’m stretched so thin I’m about to snap. This, my friends, is how burn out starts.
I do want to do the 10 man Ulduar content and finish it up with Beru because it feels incomplete and we are so damn close. However, I’m no longer going to run a “whoever is online and wants to go send me a tell” method for running Ulduar 10. I’m going to pre-plan groups and times to finish out our Ulduar drake…and then I’m done with 10 man Ulduar. Finite. Maybe at some point I’ll take an alt in, but not for quite some time. I don’t care if you aren’t happy with that decision. If you want to run the 10 man content, nothing is stopping you from starting up a group! Have at it! Enjoy! Just leave me out of it.
As for 10 man ToC, I’m happy to clear out the normal version every week as it takes less than an hour. I may even take one of my healing alts to help with another run, if the group is solid. I think, however, that I’m only going to commit myself to working on the heroic version with a solid group of people that are interested in doing the content, and who I enjoy spending time with. Sorry, if you bitch about repair bills, do not apply. If you don’t want to work to learn the new content and just want to be carried through on someone elses hard work, do not apply. If all you do is offer criticism without solutions…you got it, no need to apply! If I just can’t stand raiding with you because you are a fuck up and have zero accountability, don’t waste your time because I refuse to be frustrated by you on an off night! Ok…that one was uncharacteristacly mean for me, but I told you! I’m stretched to my snapping point!
Go ahead…call me snobby, elitist, whatever. I. don’t. care. If I’m going to put my time and effort into the heroic 10 man, it’s going to be with 9 other people that are as dedicated and focused as I am. Why the change in attitude? Because right now it’s all my sanity can take. While I may be perfectly content to hold your hand through the 25 man content, I don’t want to do it in the 10 man. If you can’t be bothered to learn about the fight and come prepared for it, I can’t be bothered to spend my off nights raiding with you! And for that, I’m not going to apologize.
I will not let the 10 mans be the thing that pushes me over the brink. I refuse.
Honestly, if I don’t give up something soon, the only option for my sanity will be to give it all up. I don’t want to get to that point. I don’t think it needs to get to that point. But I do think that I need to adjust my priorities right now and put me at the top of them for a bit. I’m going to enjoy myself for a bit. I’m going to take those nights off and cook…or do housework. There is nothing that you can say that is going to make me regret this decision….so bugger off.
Wow…getting all that out that felt good.
/has zen moment
Falling Leaves and Wings 
Good on you for this. I’m impressed you’ve been doing that sort of schedule for 4+ months
There is nothing shameful or wrong in setting hard and fast boundaries. WoW, your guild, and your in-game friends aren’t going to set boundaries for you – they’re going to take and take because they don’t know your limits (and how could they?) An important step for everyone is when we see that we have limits, we need to respect them, and we are a whole person even outside of raiding and gaming at all. I recently did a similar once-over of my gaming habits and trimmed where it was necessary to prevent the game turning sour for me. It sounds like you’re doing the same. As soon as your happy game-time turns into a stressful obligation and a slog, something’s gotta give. In my opinion, you are a better player for recognizing that and taking steps to improve your time overall for yourself both in-game and out, even if it means you miss out on helping some 10-man groups. And the truth is, this examination and assessment is a useful tool in many aspects of life, not just gaming. As a fellow cook, I salute your decision. Make more yummies, have more fun, and never be afraid to say bugger off! 😉
It is certainly been extremely stressful the past month or so, with summer winding down.
I’m about to make a post on our forums about people’s commitment to raiding.
Honestly, I think of all of this what has me the most burned out is the recruiting. We generally have an extremely high member retention rate, but as of late some of our older members have put in their notice that they are done with WoW and moving on to other things. It is so hard to recruit, which is even further complicated by top 100 guilds also recruiting. Why would a recruit go to a lesser progressed guild when there are so many further progressed guild with open spots?
I stress so often about how to keep pushing, and when we have people post absent, and progression. Honestly, I don’t worry about our progression nearly as much when we aren’t recruiting. But so much of recruiting goes hand in hand with progressing. It’s a really nasty catch 22.