Today we will spin the tail of the snob in the sissy robe
™, aka Earenn. Yes, this little priest is turning into quite the prima dona. It’s something else, if I may say so myself!
Yesterday was just one of those days. So by the time I got to my priest I was feeling pretty snarky. I logged in with the intention of doing the daily heroic with Brade’s warrior, so we could get rep and much-needed badges. It was Utgarde Pinnacle, ugh. I loathe Utgarde Pinnacle. I have spent too many hours wiping on Skadi with any number of bad tanks that I basically flat out refuse to do the zone without Brade tanking. It just isn’t worth losing my sanity over.
So I set out about my happy way to set our group up, asking in guild first if we have any interest (having been late, there wasn’t). As such, I decided to take it to LFG and pug our way to the zone. Because we live on the west coast, but play on an east coast server, we frequently PuG for instances because it’s so late by the time we get “free time”. It isn’t always easy to find a PuG after raids when we have time, largely due to the fact that it’s after midnight for a good number people. Regardless, through the LFG channel and the City general/trade channel I had a mage, warrior and death knight respond to my shout out for “LF3M DPS Heroic UP” in fairly short time. Cool, the group was ready and it didn’t take too long. Time to head out! Power rangers HOooooo! (uh…no clue where that came from )
As we are making our way out to the instance the warrior that joined the group as “dps” pipes up in party chat wanting to know if he could “make a suggestion”. I immediately know what this “suggestion” is going to be. “Let me tank”. So, I stay silent, hoping that if I pretend he didn’t say anything the text on my screen will vanish. Of course…it doesn’t, and Brade feels obligated to respond (damn men!). Sure enough this warrior wants to tank. Remember above where I said that I won’t do UP unless Brade is tanking it? Yea…so not gonna happen buddy. I don’t care if you are the William Wallace of tanking, I don’t heal the zone unless Brade is tanking it. Period.
Brade politely goes on to tell him that while he appreciates the offer, he’d prefer to tank and because he is sitting right next to his healer he has an advantage. Of course, a polite thanks but no thanks isn’t sufficient for this guy, and he keeps pushing! So Brade is forced to pull out his WoWcock
™ and advise Mr. Warrior that this is his fourth tank, and that he’s pretty confident he can handle it. Oh, hey, but if we have trouble, I can just grab my TotGC geared druid to finish it out.
Mr. Warrior was still convinced that Brade couldn’t do it and that he should be tanking, even though he signed up to dps the run, and STILL kept pushing. I had finally had enough and said to him, “even if Blaloch was open to dpsing this instance, I will not heal the zone unless he is tanking it”. Explaining to him that it’s nothing against him, I’ve just had too many bad experiences with other tanks. This of course got his hackles all raised, because, you know, he apparently is the William Wallace of tanking or whatever and is now all affronted. “I tank just fine, thank you dear”. Sure, maybe you do. BUT YOU JOINED THIS GROUP TO DPS SO JUST STFU ALREADY.
Apparently Brade and I had not been clear enough or blunt enough for Mr. Warrior, because he is STILL on about tanking the damn instance. And how it will be too hard to heal Brade in his gear, and how he has such better gear. So now I am forced to pull out my WoWcock
™ and tell him that not only is this my fourth healer, but I’ve been healing Brade in some form or fashion for FOUR FUCKING YEARS, and I was pretty sure that we had it covered. However, if he was uncomfortable with the situation, I would be happy to find another DPS to replace him.
He finally shut up.
Of course, now he had a mission. He had to prove what a bad tank Brade was. Even though Brade marked the adds, the great W.W. refused to attack the marked target…ever. After the first pull or two, I looked over at Brade and said, “should I let him die?”. Brade, always up for a challenge…and stubborn, told me to heal him. But also managed to hold agro off him 90% of the time, regardless off all of his douchebaggery.
We got to the final boss without issue. As always, when Brade tanks Skadi, all of the adds are under control, nobody dies, and the gauntlet is handled with efficiency. However, on the final boss, when Mr. Wallace Warrior stood in the orbs, Brade looked at me and said “a good tank would have known to get the fuck out of the bad shit”, laughed and went on his happy tanking way. If I wasn’t so enamoured by the ping noise that the great holy frisbee makes as it bounces around, I probably would have let the asshole die.
(Need more proof that my priest is becoming a snob? In this same run the DK deathgriped an abom at the same time Brade pulled Sylva, so we had to deal with that right quick before Arthas finished talking. In my hoity-est voice text, I advised him that if he felt the need to pull rather than letting the tank pull again, I wouldn’t be healing him next time.)
Man…Earenn’s got attitude!
Random Quotes for Friday Fun!
“I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.” ~ Robert H. Schuller
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ~Thomas Edison
What are some of your favorite sayings? I’d be curious to know!
™Sissy Robes and WoWcock are registered trademarks of Tamarind.