Random Monday Rambles From A Restless Mind.   17 comments

“A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.”

I’ve had a few things running through my mind lately, so I thought I’d get them out of my head so that maybe they would stop picking at my brain and give it some rest! These are just my random thoughts, thrown together in a random fashion, likely in the same jumbled fashion that they are floating around in my head!

The Lich King

1.2% That was our wipe last night in our 25 man raid. He’s a goner soon, no doubt about it. But why does it always have to be the 1% wipe? I’m actually pretty excited about this. Even if we don’t snag the kill tonight, for whatever reason, he has been put on notice. I’ve been incredibly proud of our guild progress this expansion. Sure, maybe we are “months behind” on some things, but we’ve actually done just about everything available in the game thus far. Overall, I think we are in a pretty good place as a guild, and that makes me happy.

Attendance

It’s our gift, and our bane. We offer very flexible attendance to our raiders, because we draw exclusively from an adult fanbase. With that means that there are adult responsibilities that our members but attend to that will take precedence over the game. And I’m OK with that. But sometimes they all hit at once and it can be stressful trying to pull a raid together. We are fortunate to have a large friends and family core to draw from when we are short people, and rarely have to call a raid. But there are nights when I look at our absentee posts and my stomach twists. I know it’s not my fault, it’s nobody’s fault. But I do feel a personal responsibility to keep things flowing smoothly. We do well, but it isn’t always without some amount of stress on my end!

However, with Spring Break and vacations occupying people’s time, topped with it being close to the end of tax season and the last minute OH GOD tax panic, both personal and professional, these past two weeks have been very slim for filling raids! Most nights we’ve run with fewer healers than usual, and a few friends filling in some DPS roles (or just running at 23/24 raiders). We’ve made some good accomplishments, and I am always very grateful how understanding people are, and how helpful our non-progression team is when we ask if anyone is interested in filling the open spots.

Recruiting

Alas, my least favorite chore. I hate recruiting more than just about anything else! We find ourselves in need of a healer, as the result of one of ours having ongoing, and seemingly unresolveable, internet issues. It happens, and I’ve probably put off filling the position for longer than I should have. So that being said, I’m looking for one healer, preferably a Disc Priest but might consider a very skilled Holy Paladin as well. We are also looking for one exceptional warlock to add to our ranks.

Did I mention how much I hate recruiting?

10 Mans

We’ve actually been chugging along on our 10 man hard mode work, which is nice. We are now 7/12, snagging two new hardmodes on Friday night. I’ve genuinely had a really good time with these over the past few weeks. The group of folks that have been interested in running them has been a lot of fun, and we’ve been ticking through them at a pretty good pace. We are hoping to get another end wing boss and Valithria in this weekend’s run!

Alts

I’ve been popping about on my hunter here and there. I’m close to nicking level 71…and I’m pretty sure that will, if he hasn’t already, surpassed me! But that’s only because I’ve been enjoying my baby druid. She’s up to level 28, although I must express my complete and total annoyance with the “satchel of helpful goods”. Hi…there are lots of druids out there who aren’t feral! Some caster gear would be quite “helpful”, and very much appreciated. Thanks.

SAN

This is something that I’ve actually been giving a lot of thought to lately, and has been playing on my mind with some frequency. I’ve been giving a good bit of thought to transferring my baby druid back to my home server.

It’s not that I don’t care for the people, necessarily. It’s not that I don’t care for the environment, necessarily. It’s not that it’s a bad concept or idea, necessarily.

However, when I’m online over there, a few glaring things become very obviously aware to me:

· I am not an overly social person. Sure, I can be chatty. Sure, I can show the proper social graces that my mother raised me with. But, I find that I’m a bit of a loner who prefers to have a close knit social group that I can share my thoughts and opinions with rather than a giant room of strangers. And even though there are any number of people online at any given time with SAN, my loneliness while I am there is only amplified. People aren’t unfriendly, or rude, but I find myself curling into my shell and not really participating in the conversation…or just speaking to those that I am comfortable with in tells. (And I do enjoy those conversations immensely).

Perhaps this is my own fault for not being as outgoing as I could be, for just questing along in solitude. Because by no means do I go out of my way to make a place for myself. Why? Because I feel out of place, and I am perfectly comfortable just minding my own business and quietly going about my way. I don’t really know many of these people, and I find that makes me fairly shy. I mean…the other day I was planning on trying to cook bacon in the oven, as opposed to a fry pan, because I had this really delicious thick cut bacon from the meat counter at Whole Foods and it makes such an awful mess to fry it up. So I asked in guild chat if anyone had ever tried this method of cooking bacon before…and there were crickets. No, Really. Eventually someone spoke up with a “um…no”, and there were maybe 4 lines of discussion about why you would cook bacon in the oven over a fry pan. But, it was like my question or topic was just…out of place. One of those comments that someone makes that causes everyone to stop talking, turn and look at you like you’ve 4 heads, and then starts chattering once again as if the comment was never made.

It’s quite possible that had I asked the question at a different time, with a different group of people that were online the reaction would have been different, but the thing is…had I asked that question in my guild any number of people probably would have opined on the topic, regardless of if they had had any actual experiences cooking bacon in the oven or not! And perhaps that is it. Perhaps I am just used to my guild, my people, my comfort zone and I don’t like stepping out of it. Perhaps it’s just me. I don’t know.

· The best thing about the guild is also the worst thing about the guild. That is to say that everyone has an opinion…and nobody is afraid to share it, often with disregard or respect of others thoughts, opinions, or feelings. I’ve witnessed, and been part of, a number of highly opinionated conversations where the parties involved are so unmovable in their opinions that the entire conversation is completely pointless, because you aren’t going to have a conversation.

That’s fine and I suppose a bit to be expected. However, I run a guild. I deal with stubbornness and sifting through conflicting thoughts and opinions and trying to smooth the road constantly. This is/was a nice escape from that. But it’s not, really. It’s just different people. More opinionated people. Lots of opinionated people. People with more thoughts. And while those thoughts can be expressed well on a Blog, when folks are expressing them contemporaneously, they aren’t always as well thought through…and sometimes come out a bit wrong. And honestly, I think some people are controversial just to be controversial. To raise eyebrows. It’s really not the humble meeting of the minds that it was the first few nights, now that everyone is settled in…and I find that a little bit disappointing.

Mostly, I find myself just tuning guild chat out and enveloping myself in solitude. And honestly, I can do that on my own server…where I can spoil my alt endlessly with heirlooms and gold, and epic flight form…

So I find myself wondering what it is I’m doing. I want very much to be part of the community, but I’m not entirely sure that this is the best way for me to be part of the community. I enjoy blogging, I enjoy reading others blogs, and I largely enjoy the community. But when I log in at SAN, I don’t feel part of that community, per se. I truly think this may very much be a “it’s not you, it’s me” sort of thing.

· I’m already a member of a very active guild, both during raids and outside of raids. My guild takes up a lot of my time, and so I don’t have an abundance of time to participate with SAN. That coupled with the fact that I do feel somewhat out of place while I am there have been nagging at me a little. I can’t quite place my finger on it, other than to know that there are a handful of people that I really enjoy while I am online, and then a whole lot of people that I just don’t know. That I don’t have the time to get to know, because of my other commitments. And in part, that makes me feel a little bit like a stranger, looking through the glass at something that I am just on the outside of.

I can’t help but wonder if the EU-SAN is quite different from the American SAN.

· The Role-play Server aspect of it really has me thrown through a bit of a loop, which has been escalated by recent happenings in the blogging community. I do not, and have never, really had any interest in Role Play. I feel a connection to my characters, maybe as I play them I wonder what their back story might involve. But I have never fully developed a character to an extent that would be sufficient to someone that takes the role play aspect of the game far more seriously than myself…and I don’t really want to.

The other day while I was questing in Ashenvale, I came across a couple that was questing (a hunter and a priest), and as I was moving by one of them leveled. And being the friendly person that I am, I stopped briefly, did a /cheer, and I buffed the two of them and went about my way. A little bit later, I found the priest in a good bit of trouble, with her hunter not to be seen, and so I stopped and helped her shore up her mobs. But after the fact, I wondered if those things were acceptable behaviors. Neither party gave any indication that I even existed. No nod of gratitude, no emote thanking me for helping. And I thought, perhaps I just committed a faux paux. Perhaps I just broke the rules.

I’m really struggling. I don’t want to feel that by leaving, I am giving up on being part of the community, and I do want to see the project out. But on the same token, I don’t know that by being there I feel as if I were part of the community either. I think that for now, at least, I am going to stay and try to be a little bit more open, a little more outgoing, make a bigger effort to “fit in” and not be such a longer. I am going to see if those things help. It isn’t as if I am not enjoying myself, and I truly enjoy talking with some other bloggers privately about things that have been addling my mind. However, sometimes I do miss my guild. I miss being able to be snarky and having people know that it’s snark, and not my personality. I miss being able to ask about cooking bacon and not feeling like I’ve thrown the conversation off. Maybe I’m just “homesick”, and I need to call my GM to come take me home because I need to sleep in my own bed.

I don’t know, perhaps it’s just me having these experiences. Does anyone else feel this way at all?

Playing Less WoW

So this weekend, I spent a good bit of time reading. I started the “In Death” series by JD Robb, and I’m really enjoying them. They are devilishly addictive. It means that I wasn’t online quite as much, but it was also a nice, refreshing break from my usual pastime sitting in front of the computer. However, there are some 29 books in the series! My pocketbook is already cringing.

I also grilled this weekend. I was pondering the “if we didn’t play so much WoW” or “if we didn’t raid” question with Brade this weekend. I’d bet we’d cook more…and it would be fun. But, I also bet that we’d watch more TV and play more console games. Neither of us do well with being bored. Which is a large part of why we WoW so much, it engages us. But…from time to time, it’s nice to be engaged by other things as well J

Pondering Cataclysm

I wish they’d announce the damn release date already. But every time I think about Cataclysm, I can’t help but wonder how long I will be playing WoW. Which expansion will I decide that my time is done? Clearly it’s not Cataclysm, because I find myself excited about it. I’m already making plans for the expansion. But every expansion brings the question, does it not?

I also what, if any, change we should make as a guild. Should we cut back to three raid nights, but have a far more strict attendance and performance requirement? Should we leave things as they are? Who is going to want to switch mains? How are we going to decide the new guild features? Will I like the changes be implemented?

So many questions! So few answers! I really need to find and polish my crystal ball!

And those are the rambling thoughts that have been plaguing my mind the past few days. Thoughts that are just floating and swimming about, nibbling here and there. Thoughts that I don’t have answers to, and that perhaps don’t even need to be answered. Perhaps some thoughts are just meant to be thrown about to be nibbled on, and never require resolution.

Please feel free to share if you have any thoughts on my thoughts. Or if you have any rambling thoughts that you’d just like to put out there as well! J

Posted March 22, 2010 by Beruthiel in Alt-aholic!, Cataclysm!, Deep Thoughts, eh?, SAN

17 responses to “Random Monday Rambles From A Restless Mind.

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  1. I wish we had a Whole Foods close by. I’m addicted to watching Top Chef and other such US TV cooking shows and it looks so nice. All our supermarket type shops pale in comparison.

    Also I tend to grill my bacon in the oven rather than fry it. Just seems a bit healthier that way, plus its an excuse for grilling tomatoes along side.

    Because I’m currently cooking dinner (luckily we’re having homemade chilli which needs to cook slowly for hours), I ended up googling bacon and it seems there is whole website dedicated to the subject.

    http://bacontoday.com

    Some of the recipes look really tasty.

    • Oh, that is great! Thanks!

      I did give it a try Sunday morning, but I think I need to perfect if a bit :). Mine was not quite as well done as I like, I think because I didn’t cook it as long as I should have due to the thickness of the bacon.

      I am definately going to give it another go though! Thanks for the tips :)

  2. I know exactly what you mean about SAN. Like you, I’m not an overly social person. Making conversation with a bunch of people I don’t know is really not my forté. I think I’ve only logged onto the server two or three times, and I mostly just run around, do a few quests, then log off. The premise is neat, I thought it would be fun to play a bigger role in the blogger community, but I’m just not social enough to really integrate myself with the guild. Plus, I’ve got two other guilds to play with. As it is, I don’t spend much time on either of my normal servers outside of raids, so I feel like being in a third guild is just a distraction.

    • Yea, I just don’t “mingle” particularly well :)

      It’s not that I’m not enjoying my play, it’s just that I feel fairly out of place! And the fact I have a very active guild that I help manage contributes to that. I think if Brade was playing during his offtime on one of his toons, rather than a console game during his off time currently, I’d also maybe feel a bit better about it.

  3. Re: the two random questors you helped… it was probably just them being anti-social. TBH, if you were running around in the woods and saw some poor person in a robe being attacked by a bear and clearly in trouble, you would help them if possible. That’s what roleplay is about… interacting with the game’s world in as realistic a way as is possible with a high-fantasy setting.

    I don’t think there was any kind of faux-pas there aside a lack of gratitude from what appeared to be a pair of mute elves. ;)

    That said, I don’t spend much time with SAN, either. I have commitments to my guild and a wish to run instances with them. I really only get on Argent Dawn when no one is online in my own guild, and I don’t have farming to do for raids. I intend to periodically pop over there, though, to explore RP a bit more, I do find the concept of it fascinating. But, hey, there’s nothing saying we HAVE to spend a lot of time with SAN. It’s just there if we want to be a part of it.

    • You are probably right…I’m sure they were just a bit anti-social, and I was overly paranoid because of everything that has been going on in the community :)

      I like being a NE for a bit of a change. I’m really enjoying the questing. It’s just that I feel a bit out of place, really. And truth be told, I’d probably feel that anywhere. I guess I’d like to be a part, but I feel more a silent observer than anything else, and a bit of that is solely at my feet!

  4. Around SAN… I know we talked about you rolling an alt on my server, and I would totally consider rolling a Horde alt on your server so we can continue our serius bzness chats about saving the world and stuffs (ok maybe not that serious).

    But then I wondered whether it wouldn’t really be the same, because you would obviously have a lot of chatting going on with your guild and friends on your server, and I wouldn’t want to feel like I was bothering you by chatting with you. Hmmm.

    I do wish we were on at the same time more often. You, Kae, and I have to get together to chat about important topics like why trees are the best and to share stories like “Omg can you believe my silly tank did this?”. :p

    In terms of comparisons with SAN-EU, I have a feeling the US chapter is much bigger in terms of membership. Also as we talked about, I wonder how the gchat may be different with cultural differences between Americans and Europeans.

    • I actually did think of that as well. We’d probably all be busy in our own things, and not have an abundance of time for chatter. The different chatter is one of the things that I do like about SAN.

      It is a bit tough because the people you feel you “know” all have completely different schedules, and so everyone is on at different times. If I were a bit more outgoing, or just had more time, I’m sure I’d get to know a lot more folks. Just as it is right now, I’m a bit overwhelmed, I suppose :)

      I’ve read a number of Tam’s articles about their shennanigans, and it does look to be good fun! I do think those Euopeans perhaps have a flair for living that we are maybe too busy to take notice of ourselves ;)

  5. Public Library! 29 books.. JD is a hugely popular, bet you can get them all there.

    I would go broke if I bought all the books I read.

    • Ah…I am a kindle user! I am far too addicted to my kindle to check out books from the library :)

      Perhaps it’s a conspiracy from Amazon?!?!

      • Buy from used bookstores! I know, it’s not the kindle, but then you’re not paying kindle prices for books that have been out for a while. Her books are totally crack. It’s still 50/50 whether I’ll be able to restrain buying the hardback when a new title comes out, and if I see it at Costco for half price that baby is mine!

        Also, once you burn through the In Death books, she’s got a ton more that she’s written under Nora Roberts and while they’re definitely classified as “romance” novels instead of “mystery”, they’re fun to read.

      • Ah, but the best thing about the kindle is not having to carry around, and find storage for, all those books! They are also slightly cheaper on the kindle.

        I really love my kindle;). So I am unlikely to move away from it!

  6. I am a member of EU SAN, and from what I read from you, I do think it is different. It is probably due to culutral differences, but when just the other day I mentioned spring cleaning project that I started in my appartment, there was a half hour discussion about what people keep in their flats and should throw out… With advice, ideas and some whining thrown in for good measure. Anything is a good topic, and I mean – anything. Gnome tossing too….

    I haven’t noticed any arguments of the “obstinate” kind either, to be honest. Its simply a very pleasant place to be, and although I am a loner by nature too (I play a druid as my main, and I rolled a druid on AD – there is something about druids thats very self-sufficient), I enjoy the atmosphere immensely.

    It would be really interesting to hear more thoughts on the (perceived) difference in character of each guild.

    • Haha, I remember this conversation!

      I was going to comment along the lines of I hadn’t seen anything like that in SAN-EU but then I realised I’m horribly biased and probably not a decent judge. I guess maybe sheer size and the time-zone issue doesn’t help but .. I have nothing helpful to say *shrug*.

      The thing is, SAN was never meant to be an obligation – it’s wonderful that lots of people are enjoying levelling in it (EU side at least) but plenty of people – myself included – just play flying visits to say hello or chill out after or before a raid. I don’t feel social pressure when I’m in SAN – if I’m busy or running an instance I basically ignore guild chat and pick it up again when I’m done. I think most people do, to be honest.

      There have been some debates when I’ve been around but usually if somebody gets over-opinionated (again, including me) they get mocked until they stop. Or we send a Tauren along to dunk them in a water barrel until they calm down.

      Conversation does seem to range all over the place – from the game, to favourite poets, from the profound to the frivolous.

      But equally I think SAN only works as a space if you don’t get everything you need from your guild. I think maybe if I had very serious in-guild commitments like you do I probably wouldn’t want to bother with SAN either.

      Also there is nothing wrong with not liking / wanting SAN :)

      As I say, it was just an idea I had one afternoon.

      • It’s not that I feel it’s an obligation. It’s just something that I thought I would enjoy more than I am…and I think that’s partly my fault.

        It could just be that I’m old, and set in my ways, and all the change is just difficult for me :)

    • I think that I wold probably agree that the two environments are quite different, and I do think that part of that is some of the cultural differences.

      I was sorely tempted to pick up an EU account, just to hound some of the EU bloggers that I find fabulous, but then realized that nobody would ever be online when I was :)

  7. Well then I shall value the few words we exchanged in /w all the more knowing that you valued me enough to respond!

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