Well, I do also have one suggestion for you and your Guild. Why not take a week (or two….or maybe some off-nights instead) and do some silly, stupid, pointless raid-like things. For example nekkid Karazhan (on nekkid Naxx for a little more chalenge). Go in on your Raid toons totally nekkid (yes no weapons or shields either) and see how far you can get? OK, maybe not the best idea, but perhaps doing something to bring the lighthearted fun into a raid-type setting. (Drunken raiding might work too….toons drunk, not people….you could even maybe use the glasses from Brewfest for those toons that kept them) (And sorry, I am a man…we tend to offer un-solicited advice. As my Hero says “I’m a man…..but I can change….if I have to….I guess”)

My only advice to you is to do what you find fun, sod the rest of em

On the days when my wrist burns after 2.5 hours of raiding, I get grumpy, and the attitudes of my team make me want to scream. When someone goes on and on about the virtues of one click casting via clique or mouseover macros or whatever, and my thumb is too stiff to reach the side buttons on my naga and my hands are too shaky to reliably click the buttons I want just once… I want to cry. I know it is better/faster, but I have limitations and I just can’t do it all the time.

Does that affect my joy in Wow? Oh yeah.

Problems I would normally cope with and shrug seem almost insurmountable on the really bad days. The raider who screams at us all, or who calls me various ugly names when he doesn’t get his way… I can redirect him like a 5 year old on the good days. On the bad ones I just want to leave my guild, and him, behind. The days when my team can’t be bothered to read strats, or when every healer wants the red buff because they haven’t looked at the synergy of the team… On the good days I remember that I like them all.

I’m going on and on, and I apologize. The health of the body affects the health of the mind. It takes mental strength to cope with pain, and it leaves less strength to deal with other issues. Both interpersonal ones… and the fact that Blizz ripped off the bandaid again, and proved that they still haven’t fixed the wound it was concealing.

Your concerns are real. Druids are fine for easy mode, but let me tell ya, stack 3 resto druids in the raid and even in normal mode you start to feel it. I can’t tell you if your interpersonal guild things are real… I’m not there, but I assume so. Druids have been on a roller coaster for years. People as individuals are great, but as a group they suck. What is different is that you are in pain. That doesn’t invalidate your concerns. Pain is a multiplier. instead of having X issues, you get 3X issues. X is still the real issue though.

I don’t know if you have seen this, but you might find it enlightening.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/
I make a lot of my friends and family read it… it is the best way I have found to help people understand the issues with chronic illness. I can tell them, “I am out of spoons” and they stop harassing me to do something or other. I think you are running a little low on spoons right now.

I’ve read your blog for awhile, and although I can see you are certainly not a quitter, it sounds to me like you do need a break from wow, perhaps even gaming in general? Maybe take a step back, see how the guild functions without you? It may offer a offer a fresh perspective and show you how much you do or do not enjoy the game anymore.

I find that reading before bed helps to “cleanse the palate”, if you will. My new year’s resolution — go to bed a half-hour earlier than I’d like to and spend that 30 minutes reading. I used to be a voracious reader and somewhere during my degree, I lost my love of it. That’s something I’m hoping will work well for me, and it might help you alleviate any overthinking, because you switch tracks to something like a plot and then fall asleep with that on the brain and not, say, wipe number 381 on H Rags.

I understand about the disconnection thing. I probably should log in more than I do, but I can’t right now and I couldn’t during the term and… well, does that make me a less effective GM? I don’t know. I have people PM me if they need to talk about something and I have office hours every week so people can drop in. I keep abreast of my guild’s twitters and blogs. I like to think I have a vague idea of what’s going on, but I admit I don’t know everyone in my guild as much as I’d like. Like you, I have a LOT of emotion and it’s really, really hard for me to understand how others can do things like quit, move on, give up, etc. I just resign myself to hating people who leave me in the lurch and I recruit to replace them… but that’s likely not the healthiest thing to do

I’m glad to hear you guys went out and had a good time! Pub trivia sounds amazing right about now, particularly with the nasty weather here. I’ve been trying to decompress as well. We’re not officially raiding until Tuesday the 3rd and I’ve signed up as “no” with the baby pally’s guild and it feels great to genuinely be *off* for a bit.

At any rate. Hugs to you, open ear over here. And try not to overthink things too much. (I know, I know, easier said than done, by a MILE!) <3