I’m not entirely sure why, but for the past few days I’ve had a serious case of the Mondays. I think it’s this trip, I generally get melancholy as it winds down and I get more homesick. It’s odd how a prolonged change from your daily life can throw you all out of whack. I can’t really explain it much better than just a complete blase feeling. With so much time on my hands it leads me to start thinking about tons of things. The biggest thing on my mind right now is if I’ve made the right decision with moving forward into MoP. While deep down I know it’s what I want to do, I’m worried that I’m going to have the rug pulled out from under me because of my hands.
I know I mentioned a while back that I had an additional issue with my left hand in the thumb/wrist area. My therapist is baffled by both how quickly it came on and how long it is taking to resolve itself. Unfortunately, while my overall hands have felt better in the dry heat of Colorado, this new problem has grown pronouncedly worse. I pretty much can’t put any weight at all on my left hand. One odd twist and I’m in extreme pain – for example, last night I was putting on my nightgown and held the gown funny; this morning I was picking up my shoes and grabbed the shoe in an apparently unpleasant manner; I place my left hand on my hip and it twinges in pain. The worse part of all of this is that the week before I came to Denver I didn’t touch my computer outside of our weekly raid and the time I’ve been in Colorado I’ve spent very little time playing, but my left hand has progressively gotten worse. My therapist has indicated that when I get back if the left hand is still causing problems she is going to send me for a cortisone shot. I’ve never experienced these before, but I’ve heard they can be painful. I grow worried that something more is going to have to be done about my hands and it is going to completely prohibit the hobby that I’ve dedicated myself to for the past eight years.
And I guess what bothers me about that is that I will be stopping my hobby on terms that aren’t my own. Ok, and that I won’t know what to do with myself. I have tried to pick up some other hobbies in my down time so that I’m not left completely at a loss, but when push comes to shove I’m not really sure what my reaction would be if I walked into the Doctor’s office and was told I had to have surgery or I needed to significantly limit my time on the computer. So much of everything I do right now is wrapped up into WoW that I wonder if it would be akin to quitting smoking cold turkey. I mean, I know that I will have to step back from the investment I’ve put into WoW at some point, I had a conversation with Brade not so long ago where I expressed that when I was 70 I wanted to have more to look back on my life than just pixels. But I don’t think I’m there yet.
I also can’t but help feeling a little disconnected again. I know from last time that this is in large part due to my forced absence from the game/computer, but it doesn’t help. Especially when I’m already feeling a bit melancholy. This time it feels a little less stressful and worrisome to me because we aren’t pushing progression and a lot of people are taking time away from the game outside of raid nights during this lull, but it still bothers me a little bit. I’m trying to casually level my inscriptionist to 85 so that she is ready for MoP to combat this – but between my hands and Cataclysm feeling tired it’s been hard to be motivated.
So what am I doing with my free time? Obsessively checking our forums. I watched both seasons of Pretty Little Liars and when I get home I intend to start watching Buffy (I’ve never seen it before). I finished the first Girl With the Dragon Tattoo book and am about 1/3 of the way through the second. Brade and I have started playing board games a bit to give my hands a rest, but have something fun we can still do together. And lastly I’m trying to adjust my lifestyle to be a bit healthier – I’ve even been debating a subsection on the blog devoted to it.
Man, what a ramble this turned into. Ah well, so it goes. When I get back I intend to spend a little time with the Beta again (I actually put it on the laptop before the trip…and then Blizzard went and made you redownload the whole thing, so I wasn’t able to do anything with it while I was traveling). I continue to be bummed out that raid beta testing occurs while I’m at work, but there really isn’t anything to be done about that. If you have any beta questions you’d like answered, or anything you’d like to see via fraps, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do to facilitate it. Other than that, here’s hoping that soon I’ll get infected with a case of the Friday’s and be back to my old, sarcastic, yet chipper, self.